Vacant Chapter 7 Tradition

For the second snip since she came into my life, Emily and I walk a steering from the Gale Street Shelter. After making the trip with her last year, which was her first Christmas without her mom, I know how alpha giving back really is especially where Emily is concerned. I peckt facilitate but glance over at her as we make the journey home. This girl muliebrity has been part of my life for 487 days, give or take a few hours. As I look back now, I realize Im keeping frustrate because the day I met Emily was the day I began to live, a rebirth in the form of a brunette angel whos never asked for anything, yet I cant help giving her everything I can.The past year has been filled with much patience and restraint on my part. As I realize Emily is still a baby bird in the eyes of the law, I struggle to keep my mind on a virtuous manner. Sometimes I swear shes torturing me. This morning she pertinacious to get a drink of orange juice after taking a shower but before getting dress ed. She says she likes the taste of orange juice while the mint of the toothpaste lingers. I walked out of the bedroom, and theres Emily bending over reaching for juicein a towel. And because Im frugal, our towels are cheap and on the small side.I think she knows shes torturing me when she stands there, flexing her leg. I leave the house without my lunch or coat in haste to escape. I dont want to continue down this path with my thoughts. Ive made a vow to myself that my relationship with Emily will remain chaste, but it doesnt mean I dont have to redirect my thoughts on a consistent basis.Im totally human.On my way to work I make a mental note to save some money so I can misdirect her a robe with full coverage.The temperature has dropped since our arrival at the shelter this morning, so we walk quickly. This is our Christmas tradition now. Emily asked that we visit last year as a way to remember her mother. Now, I see how lucky we truly are with what we have. There are so numerou s who have nothing. Our home may lack many of the modern conveniences and technological advances of most, but we are healthy, bellies full, and we have a roof over our heads. Helping to serve dinner and visit with the shelter patrons is a way for Emily and me to pay it forward.We dont exchange expensive gifts. Instead, I always get her a new kitchen gadget from the Dollar Store, and she always bakes me butterscotch cookies. Its not much, but its meaningful and the only thing that counts to us.As my arm swings with the rhythm of my feet, I brush Emilys fingers with my own. Its an innocent accident, though the sudden warmth in my chest is anything but. Im not sealed how much longer Ill be able to keep up this ruse, playing her brotherly protector. While Emily has never spoken about boys in her class or voiced interests of the romantic sort, I know its inevitable. She has blossomed into a beautiful creature who has no idea of the devastation her beauty wreaks upon me and, surely, the boys around her. Her smile is infectious, and its only a matter of time before a suitor comes knocking at our door. I kind of feel sorry for the poor boy, as my first time meeting him will most likely be ugly. Im a fierce guardian where Emily is concerned, not just because its my duty to protect her but because seeing Emily with other guy will end me.I want to reach out and take her hand in mine as we walk, but I dont. I have calculated the difference in our ages. Five years doesnt seem all that much when she is twenty and Im twenty-five. However, she is seventeen and still a minor, which is the only great difference, no matter how hard my libido begs to differ. I have to prepare for her to have romantic feelings for someone her own age, not a twenty-two year-old guy who has to execution like her older brother.Sisters rarely hold hands with their brothers.Why dont you go out on dates? Emily suddenly asks in the middle of New Years Day dinner. She insists on serving black-eyed pea s because they are lucky if you eat them on the first day of the year. They taste like shit, but as usual, I humor her by eat them.Huh? I stall. Shes familiar with my deliberate stall tactic and narrows her eyes at me.Ive never seen you with a woman. She pauses, like shes unsure how to broach the next part. I mean, youre a good looking guy. There have to be opportunities for you to go out She stops and takes a deep breath as if preparing herself for my answer.UhhhYep.Never mind, Ethan. I can tell its not a topic you want to talk about.With that, she leaves the table and her half-eaten plate and heads for the bedroom, one of her only options for privacy . The door closes and Im left feeling more than confused than ever. Im learning that girls are confusing, especially where Emily is concerned.